


Kappa Again?

by Backwardshirt



Series: Finding Folklore [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: After TTYBW, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Crack, GrimmIchi - Freeform, Humor, Japanese Mythology & Folklore, M/M, Pre-Slash, Slight pining, Slow burn through series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:33:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28439910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Backwardshirt/pseuds/Backwardshirt
Summary: Ichigo gets called to Urahara's expecting an emergency, and finds...something, though he's not sure what qualifies as an emergency in this particular case.Grimmjow has a weird fascination with animals, even though he's adamant the creatures he finds are anything but.
Relationships: Grimmjow Jaegerjaques/Kurosaki Ichigo
Series: Finding Folklore [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2083188
Comments: 10
Kudos: 111





	Kappa Again?

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhhhhh I can’t stop. I’m at the epicenter of my own personal GrimmIchi hell, and I don’t see it stopping any time soon. This was supposed to be a stupid little story because I saw a picture but now it turned into thisssss and now I’ve got like a thousand ideas and I want to explore every. Single. One. Someone send help. This is definitely supposed to be a light-hearted and funny thing, not taking itself all that seriously, especially since it is definitely ridiculous. It's also completely separate from my Fox Den story just FYI. That being said, I did try to keep them in character because that's half the fun, right? Enjoy!

“You let an ex-espada of Aizen’s army out in a _gigai_ to run _errands?_ How is that a good idea?” Ichigo asked the shopkeeper pushing him through the sliding doors of the living area, having received an *urgent* text from him not twenty minutes ago. If the vibe in the room was anything to go by, it was anything but.

“Relax my dear Ichigo, he has to earn his keep somehow,” Urahara said giving his shoulder one last shove through the shop doors and into the living room. Ichigo almost tripped over his mix-matched socked feet. What was so urgent anyway? Since the ending of the war, there hadn’t been an urgent bone in Urahara’s body, unless Yoruichi had gotten into the good booze and was feeling… _frisky,_ is the word the shopkeeper used once, when she’d given his face a good lick across his stubbly cheek. Ichigo bolted not long after that, not looking back at the shop in the darkness of the alley.

“ _Besides,_ ” the man drawled out, whipping his fan out and hiding his face, fanning himself a couple times. “Yoruichi is with him.”

Ichigo’s anxiety, previously at ceiling height due to the text, decided to crawl into a cannon and shot itself through the roof, earning its final place, not resting, among the stars.

“That makes me feel so much worse.”

Urahara let out a breathy laugh, chuckling into his hand. He didn’t seem concerned about the arrancar going out and what, getting groceries with the shopkeepers’ catty wife? Really? He didn’t see even a _little_ bit of an issue with that? What if he attacked someone? Knowing his luck, he’d probably kick a yakuza bosses’ kid.

Hell, Yoruichi going to get groceries all on her own was just about as concerning. She’d come back with nothing but cheap take-out and a bottle of expensive booze more than once. That’s why Tessai usually did it.

With them both out and one working brain between them, Ichigo could easily see her goading Grimmjow into doing something stupid, like eating another raw steak. He was sick for two days; Urahara practically locked him in his gigai to teach him a lesson while he puked his guts out, not that it worked. Even worse, he cited needing to get more ‘supplies’ and left him with Ichigo. Isshin healed him quickly enough, but getting him to his house without upchucking on his shoes like some unruly drunk was another story entirely. He’d tried punching Ichigo with vomit still on his hands saying shit about _not needing your help Kurosaki._ It was disgusting, and took him weeks to rid his nose of the smell.

Ichigo swore he hadn’t had a decent night’s rest since the arrancar had become a more permanent fixture at the shoten a couple months ago. It’s not like he was even _doing_ anything. Running back and forth between this world and Hueco Mundo some, but other than that, his schedule seemed wide open; plenty of time to get into trouble. Especially since he tried to get Ichigo to fight him what felt like eight days a week.

The last time, he’d crawled through the unlocked window in Ichigo’s room, and stepped directly on Kon’s face. The mod-soul woke up shrieking, upset his perverted dreams had been interrupted. He didn’t even want to know who he wanted to _grapple up like a rock-climbing wall_. _Put my hands on those rocks,_ or whatever he’d said at the time. Just Kon being gross.

Ichigo opened his eyes to find the guy holding him by the tail and shaking him, legs crossed sitting almost placidly at the foot of his bed. That had been a weird fight; Ichigo was half-asleep for most of it. At least he didn’t mention anything about him sleeping with a sentient stuffed animal. That would’ve been a bit too much to handle at 2 in the morning.

“Just get into your soul form and leave your body in the back bedroom. He won’t be long now,” Urahara said, breaking Ichigo from his thoughts before they could turn overly homicidal. He swore Grimmjow was having an effect on his personality, and it wasn’t a good one.

Regardless of the situation at hand, Ichigo did do as he was told. Exiting his body and arranging it on the bed in the back so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable getting back into it. He hated it when he had to get into it all crumpled up—Kon always had to make things difficult. He looked around the room once, wondering if this bedroom was ever used, and decided probably not. The bed was wrinkle free before he’d laid his body on it, and there was no obvious scent in the room, not that he would’ve been able to smell anything anyway. He thought about bringing Kon in so he wouldn’t have to worry about it, but to be honest, Kon in Ichigo’s body seemed to freak the blue-haired jackass out a little, and though it was tempting, he decided against it this time. _Urgent meant urgent, dumbass,_ he thought, cursing Urahara’s scheming.

Though a genius, Ichigo had soon found Urahara, without a proper outlet, was a danger to society. He’d doused Ichigo in weird drugs more than once, and though he _usually_ compensated Ichigo with the appropriate amount of yen, it was seldom worth it in the end. Though the horn he’d had to deal with for three days was kind of cool, he tore through too many of his nicer shirts and had to result to wearing a couple of his old man’s button downs. Karin called him Isshin once on accident; Ichigo was still recovering from that wound.

Once he walked back into the living area, he heard a commotion inside the candy store. Banging and crashing, like a fight had broken out. Urahara shouting absolute gibberish. Jinta ran in a moment later, next to Ichigo, a worried look on his face. _This can’t be good._ They ran to the sliding paper door together, ready to throw it open when Ichigo heard Urahara utter one of the worst sentences he could think of.

“Damnit Grimmjow, not again!” Cackling of a certain purple haired misfit followed and a loud thump. _She probably laughed herself to the floor again. Why can’t anything normal happen in his household?_

He adored Yoruichi, he really did, but he also really, really wanted to lock her in a chest with a ball of yarn and a horse tranquilizer some days. She could get Grimmjow going like no other—Ichigo couldn’t even get him that riled up. He suspected it was the whole cat solidarity thing, but wasn’t sure how much that actually had to do with it. Mostly, she like to push any button she could find, even if the button was attached to a blue-haired bomb. 

Swallowing his ever-growing anxiety, he opened the door and stepped through the threshold of the candy store, and stopped, Jinta just behind him with a broom in his hands.

Questioning everything he knew wasn’t something he did often anymore—didn’t think anything would surprise him after he let himself be run through with Rukia’s sword all those years ago, but as he saw the scene before him, he found himself doing just that.

Well, that and trying not to laugh, hiding his grin behind a fist.

Urahara stood, broom in hand, the bristled tip outstretched over an isle of clear containers holding pounds of mostly staled candy. Pointing it like it was Benihime at Grimmjow’s form, ready to strike the arrancar before him. Yoruichi was on the floor laughing, arms clutched around her sides, a couple of feathers stuck in her hair. Between Grimmjow’s hands was a large, and very, _very_ pissed off crow, eyes narrowed and glaring all about the room like it _definitely_ had options on the matter. 

“What is this thing?” Grimmjow asked, motioning to and _with_ the crow simultaneously, earning an angry hiss from the creature, trying to ruffle its feathers to appear bigger, but failing, seeing how the arrancar had his hands around it tightly. It settled for picking at the man’s fingers with its long beak, before he flicked it. Grimmjow’s arms were bleeding a little bit, blood gushing sluggishly from small cuts along his forearms, obviously made by the talons of the angry bird. _What the hell is going on?_

Jinta wormed around Ichigo’s frame and stood in front of him, barely glancing at the scene before lowering his head and shaking it.

“Oh come on man, stop messing with the wildlife,” he said.

_Wait, is a regular thing that happens?_

Urahara moves the broom and pokes at either him or the bird with the bristled end. Ichigo couldn’t quite tell which one he was aiming for and decided it didn’t really matter, since both hissed at him.

“Jinta, plan B, now,” Urahara grit through his teeth, his usually calm demeanor offset slightly with the wild animal in his candy shop. He probably didn’t appreciate the crow either. Jinta moved, reaching his arm out behind Ichigo, and slid the door shut quietly before turning around, walking on tip-toes towards Urahara, even though the bird was still confined within Grimmjow’s now bleeding fingers. _I didn’t know beaks were that sharp._

“Shouldn’t it be plan C?” Yoruichi asked from her position on the floor. Ichigo could’ve sworn Urahara glared at her and couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped, earning a look from Urahara as well. How many _plans_ did they have? Ichigo also started to move forward, but Yoruichi held up a hand, stopping him in his tracks, as she picked herself up off the floor, the grace of yarn dipped in glue and left to dry in her limb movements. She was still laughing.

“Tell me what it is, and I’ll drop it right now,” Grimmjow said. _So that’s why Jinta closed the door._

“Sholdn’t it be ‘or’?” Jinta asked, stopping his tip-toeing for a brief instant, glaring over at Grimmjow.

“Fine. Tell me what it is ‘ _or’_ I’ll drop it right now.”

“Well, which is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction,” Jinta said, raising a large dustpan in the air. He had one in each hand; it reminded Ichigo of those people who guided airplanes. 

“Take it outside and then I’ll tell you,” Urahara said, taking one of the pans and holding it up like some kind of shield.

“No.”

“Grimmjow.” His tone reminded Ichigo of his father’s, but he didn’t figure sharing that little tid-bit would make him any friends at the moment, so he just stood on the only step like an idiot watching the dumpster fire burn.

“Is this why you were closed last week for three days?” Ichigo blurted out after silence was beginning to settle around them with bated breath. Urahara, Jinta and Grimmjow were locked in a weird stale mate. Both of them still had their dustpan-shields raised while Grimmjow threatened to let the winged beast go in the shop.

Urahara sighed and rolled his eyes, like Ichigo had brought up a foul-memory, the broom drooping slightly.

“Yes, except it was a raccoon.” Ichigo turned his gaze on Grimmjow immediately.

“You brought a _raccoon—”_

 _“_ That _thing_ wasn’t a raccoon—”

“We talked _then_ about this as well. Stop bringing outside animals inside.” Urahara’s tone was firm, unmoving. _A voice of a practiced father,_ Ichigo realized. _I don’t think Ururu pulled anything like this; Jinta maybe though…_

“Aww come on Kiskue, what’s a little excitement?” Yoruichi purred, now beside Ichigo, draping herself on the counter with the register. She was examining the tips of her ponytail between her fingers with feigned interest.

“Excitement is bad for my heart. I’m old, you know.”

“We’re the same age, dumbass.”

“Old-Lady Yoruichi.”

“Why you little—”

The crow let out a piercing, almost human shriek, and tried flapping its ebony wings, legs twisting unnaturally around to try and scratch Grimmjow more. The noise surprised all of them—even Yoruichi jolted slightly. Jinta let out a sound that Ichigo would _definitely_ tell Yuzu about later.

“Take the bird outside now,” Urahara said, rubbing the bride of his nose like it was about to collapse under the weight of taking care of four children instead of two. “And _maybe_ I’ll heal your arms.” Grimmjow looked like he was absolutely going to refuse until he looked down at the gigai’s arms and surprised everyone.

“Fine,” he grit through his dull human-like teeth. It was the only thing not sharp about him in the gigai, everything else remained more or less the same, even the teal sweeping under his eyes was present, though Ichigo wouldn’t have put it past him to draw them on. They were basically a personality trait at this point. Kicking open the door and throwing it outside with an unceremonious toss, it took every ounce of power in Ichigo’s soul form _not_ to laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

Is this what the arrancar did for…fun didn’t seem like the right word, but any other word seemed worse. He found an animal that caught his eye, like something bright and shiny, caught it, and proceeded to _bring them inside the shoten?_ That seemed like a waste of his fighting abilities, but boredom did weird things to a person, and Ichigo really wasn’t the one to talk. The horn he grew a month ago was a testament to that.

 _Is this why he’s always trying to fight me? Is Urahara sending him to me so he doesn’t do this stuff?_ If true, it certainly wasn’t working, if the current situation was anything to go by. This seemed more…catlike than he’d expected the arrancar to be, honestly.

Urahara pushed the broom bristles on Grimmjow’s shoulder in a weirdly threatening manner before tossing it over to him. He smeared blood all over the handle with his beaked-up hands. 

“Clean up your mess first.” Grimmjow grumbled something in Spanish, but to Ichigo’s surprise actually began to sweep up the area. It wasn’t that big of a mess, but there were definitely plenty of feathers on the floor. Ichigo felt bad for the crow. And where would they have been to find a crow in the middle of the day in a busy city? Weren’t they nocturnal? _Maybe I’m thinking about owls…_ He didn’t know—didn’t concern himself with issues of nocturnality of birds much before now. It hadn’t really come up, believe it or not.

“We took a short cut through the forest,” Yoruichi said, still beside him, as if she read his mind. She was holding one of the feathers between her fingers like a cigarette. 

“Shortcut my ass,” Ichigo heard Grimmjow mutter. Yoruichi snickered.

“So this was your doing then, Yoruichi?” Urhara asked with a long, expected sigh, walking over the two of them. Jinta followed, after he set down his dustpan by the pile Grimmjow was making of the feathers. He probably would’ve messed them up if Grimmjow wouldn’t have force-fed them down his throat if he tried. 

“Me?” Her hand was motioning towards herself in mock offence, faux hurt in her golden eyes. Ichigo stepped to the side to let Urahara take his place beside the loony woman. “How could this possibly be my doing when he was the one manhandling the poor creature?” She leaned an arm on his slightly taller shoulder and watched Grimmjow work. Ichigo picked up a stray feather he’d missed and set it in the pan.

“Besides, I told him he should’ve grabbed the pigeon; they’re much smaller. Easier to hide.” Ichigo could practically feel Urahara die a little inside.

“Yeah, but it was ugly,” Grimmjow said like having opinions on the beauty of birds wasn’t the weirdest thing he’d ever said. It wasn’t, but Ichigo could pretend for a moment. “And that _thing_ wasn’t a crow.”

“Why would you want to grab either of those things,” Ichigo asked, bending down and picking up another feather, pondering on what Grimmjow had said. What did he mean it wasn’t a crow? Ichigo had seen plenty of birds while he was up in the air, maybe never quite that close before, but that was _definitely_ a crow.

“Testing the gigai’s reflexes,” Grimmjow said as if it were obvious. _So, self-preservation in that body was a no-go,_ Ichigo thought, turning the feather around in his hand and feeling the soft hairs. _Can he get rabies in a gigai? I’ll have to ask Urahara later._

“And my patience,” Urhara said from the door way with a frown before he turned around and walked through, Yoruichi and Jinta following him.

They finished cleaning up in relative peace, save for a few curses from Grimmjow, finding yet _another_ feather tucked away somewhere between the shelves of candy. Honestly, Ichigo wouldn’t’ve been surprised if Yoruichi was hiding them away, flash-stepping in and out of their vision, she was certainly fast enough. She’d do it for the hell of it.

_There is no way in hell this place is up to code._

“So what other animals have you…captured,” Ichigo asked, trying to sound like he didn’t care all that much, except he did care. The mere _thought_ of Grimmjow going somewhere to just try and grab a wild animal was hysterical. He could definitely understand why Yoruichi would goad him into it. _I wonder if people have seen him try this?_

Grimmjow shot him a glare and resolutely refused to answer, sweeping up the last of the feathers in the pan and dumping them outside, slamming the door behind him. With the room now…cleaner, they stood and stared at each other, Grimmjow frowning at him from across the room.

Is this what Urahara meant by urgent? Did he _know_ something like this was going to happen? And why was Grimmjow getting so cozy at the shoten to begin with? Wasn’t Hueco Mundo supposed to be his home or something? Isn’t that what he said? _If Hueco Mundo gets destroyed, I won’t have anywhere to mangle that body of yours…._ Ichigo had almost said then he didn’t need to fight to get any of his attention. Those eyes captured him a long time ago.

But this was new territory for him. A few months ago, they were nothing but reluctant allies, but now? Now they were standing in Urahara’s candy shop having cleaned up feathers of a crow Grimmjow had drug in just to find out what it was, adamant that it wasn’t even a crow to begin with. Even more strange, the only thing bleeding was Grimmjow, in a gigai of his own choosing, and Ichigo hadn’t done anything to him…yet.

Then again, Ichigo couldn’t say he blamed him that much. Hueco Mundo was full of smaller hollows that _kind of_ resembled animals, but mostly didn’t, so the multitude of weird, relatively harmless animals he’d come across was probably shocking. Curiosity of the cat and all that. _It’s probably just his way of passing the time; I have no idea what’s keeping him here so much._

“If you want, we could go to the park or something. Or deeper into the forest by the mountains. There’s always something wandering around,” Ichigo offered suddenly. He barely recognized the words as his until Grimmjow stared back at him, gaze only slightly softer. 

“May be best if we both went in soul forms though. Couldn’t touch anything, but could probably get a little bit closer, if you’d want,” he said, using his brain this time. He was caught up on his studies currently, so it wouldn’t hurt him to take the day off. And maybe, just maybe he could get to know Grimmjow a little bit better. Ichigo wouldn’t mind that. Not in the slightest.

Grimmjow looked like he was thinking, the way his brow was furrowed. Well, his brow was always furrowed, but this looked like it was done in thought rather than the usual frustration.

“Toss me that wooden thing.” _Well, that’s that then._ When had they graduated to him using Ichigo’s battle pass to get out of his gigai, he didn’t quite know, but it was a regular thing now. Urahara had suggested they try it and to their surprise, it had worked. Grimmjow preferred to use that as having Urahara push him out with the bottom of his cane-sword. 

“I left it with my body in the back. Hang on.”

Ichigo turned and went into the living room, Grimmjow, never following a single direction in his life, Ichigo had witnessed him pushing a pull door more than once, followed. _Maybe he doesn’t remember how to read?_ _How can I ask him that without getting my nose pushed into my skull?_

They passed the shoten family, sans Tessai and Ururu, playing cards at the table like a bunch of old geezers. By the look of it, Yoruichi was winning, if the number of acorns she had was anything to go by. Ichigo guessed they didn’t use money when the kids played? Or maybe they just…preferred using acorns as to currency? _It’s not even the right time of year for acorns, how did they get them?_

Opening the door, his body was right where he left it. _Kon’s got me worried for a jump-scare even though I didn’t bring him, the bastard._ Rifling through the jean pockets on his body, he grabbed ahold of his pass and tossed it to the waiting arrancar, who slammed it against his chest with a violent amount of force.

“You’re going to kill your gigai if you keep it up,” Ichigo said offhandedly and rolling his eyes, watching as Grimmjow stepped forward, leaving the gigai in a heap on the floor.

“Good riddance.” He tossed the pass back on the end of the bed, landing next to Ichigo’s feet on the plain blue duvet.

“Don’t you need it?”

“Only if I want to wander around in this world as one of you _humans_ ,” he said, spitting out the last word like a curse.

“Okay,” Ichigo supplied, as if anything the man had said in the past half hour had made a lick of sense.

“Well, let’s get going then.”

He locked the door behind him, just in case.

….

“What’s that?” Grimmjow nodded towards a small little thing, curly white hair, short stature, being walked around on a hot pink leash by a woman with long black hair.

Ichigo took him to the park first, hoping that would pacify his need for looking at weird animals, standing under the shade of a maple tree. It was the time of year between spring and summer, nights could get below freezing, but the days were usually too warm to wear a sweater.

No-one could see them, which Ichigo was grateful for. This was the fifth creature he’d asked about, and Ichigo knew he was getting tired of getting the same answer. It wasn’t his fault it was a versatile animal, but the way Grimmjow looked at him every time he answered, you’d think he was personally responsible for it.

“It’s a dog,” Ichigo said with a sigh, looking directly at him. He could see the muscles of his jaw tighten.

“You said that last thing was a dog.”

“It was.”

They were both leaning up against the trunk of the tree, one on each side.

Of all the things he could’ve seen, he just _had_ to see a dog first. Then again, this was at least _half_ Ichigo’s fault for taking him to a park where walking the animals was more than common. They should’ve gone to the mountain instead. That and Ichigo knew a long time ago, he was definitely more of a cat person.

“Didn’t Yammy have a dog?” he asked after another dog, a Shiba Innu by the look of it, passed by, trotting happily beside a man wearing a purple shirt and slacks.

“Looked kinda like that first one, but was still a hollow in the end.”

Great. Good. Just what Ichigo wanted to be reminded of, the small yappy thing he’d saw around the big angry brute once was actually the soul of some poor guy shoved into a very dog-like form. That soul in particular must’ve done some _very_ bad things when he was alive to deserve that brand of shitty karma. He didn’t want to sleep well tonight anyway. That and he didn’t know if Grimmjow was yanking his chain now or not.

“So, why did you really bring a crow into the shop? It couldn’t’ve really been because you’d never seen one before.”

“Tch. Told you, it wasn’t no damn crow…and Yoruichi bet me last week I couldn’t make Kiskue curse. Took a while but I finally got’em.”

“Didn’t take you for a gambling man.” Ichigo said, not thinking before the words left his thoughtless mouth. If he had a brain, he wouldn’t know where to put it.

“I’m a hollow, Kurosaki, I’m full of vices.” He could hear the smirk in Grimmjow’s rumbling voice. _God_ , he loved the way his voice sounded, deep and throaty, but now wasn’t the time. They were supposed to be looking at animals or something.

“And bringing a _crow_ into a _candy shop_ is probably at the top of that list, huh?”

Grimmjow clicked his tongue a couple times.

What a weird day.

….

Ichigo led him to the forest next, nestled beside a small mountain. It got considerably less visitors wanting to hike up the tangled trails. The trees were all leafed out, bathing the area in green, despite the lowering sun.

Being well off any traveled path and near a flowing, cold stream Ichigo wandered around for a couple minutes, trying to find creatures to show the arrancar, big or small among the thickening tree line. Spying a large rock, jutting out of the slow-moving river’s edge, covered in what he _hoped_ wasn’t poisonous vines, he sat, dangling his feet over it. Patting the space next to him, Grimmjow gruffed a little, muttering something in Spanish Ichigo didn’t understand, but joined him soon enough. He’d ask Chad to help him out sometime; he’d like to know what Grimmjow said when he was irritated to the point of speaking it—it didn’t happen often.

_Why does this feel like a date?_

Ichigo’s face reddened at the thought, but Grimmjow didn’t notice. He was too busy looking around, blue eyes darting around in front of them, sweeping across the first set of trees, lining the opposite bank of the river. It didn’t look all that deep, but Ichigo didn’t want to get his shihaksho wet by proving a point, that and he didn’t know if Grimmjow could swim. Would it be offensive to ask? _I mean, he’s lived in a desert for who knows how long, but maybe he knew how when he was human?_

Thinking about _human_ Grimmjow always twisted up Ichigo’s guts in a weird way. Was he just the same as he was now? If that were true, Ichigo could _maybe_ see why he got killed, the cocky bastard. But since hollows were a collection of souls, did that mean his developing feelings were for a bunch of separate entities, all forming into one angry blue man? Personally, Ichigo hoped not. But then again, now was not the time for that either. Shaking his head, he tried to purge those thoughts from his mind. It’s not like it would matter much anyway in the end.

As Ichigo finished shaking the budding feelings from his shell of a head, he smelled something. Musky and pungent and kind of…peppery? How was that possible? He’d never smelled anything quite so…weird. It definitely wasn’t a good smell, and he was beginning to taste it on his tongue, it was so strong. Grimmjow smelled it as well, and crinkled up his nose, glaring at Ichigo liked he’d personally wronged him.

“Gross,” was all he said. Ichigo stiffened, face now crimson. He thought—but—how did—

“I didn’t do that!” Ichigo smacked him with the back of his hand on one hulking, jacketed shoulder. Pantera was hanging from his hip on the other side of him, dangling in her sheath, precariously close to the waters edge. Grimmjow glared at him again, narrowed blue eyes slitted in skepticism.

“Sure.” He didn’t believe him. Ichigo could tell he didn’t believe him. After he trudged all the way out here with the blue-haired monster in tow, Grimmjow really thought he’d ruin the moment by _farting_ of all things. _Wait, what moment? We weren’t having a moment._

 **You were having fifteen percent of a moment,** Zangetsu’s voice said, echoing into his empty head. He had to make room for both of the sword spirits after all—couldn’t do that with a headful of brains, apparently.

_Shut up old man, or you’ll be listening to K-pop for the rest of your life._

**Better than your thoughts rolling around like marbles on a racetrack, King,** the other voice said, broken and semi-garbed by laughter. Ichigo flipped both of them off. He’d listen to some weird American music later, just because he knew White hated it. That would show him.

The smell only got worse during that little internal exchange, causing Ichigo to gag a little, his tongue nearly burning. Grimmjow fixed a glare on him that stayed. Eyes blazing, full of disgust.

“I swear I didn’t do anything,” Ichigo shifted around on the rock, fanning the air as if that would help, and glanced around. There wasn’t a creature in sight that he could see. Not in the trees, he looked around in the water, scanning the surface, not in the water. Looking straight down, not in the— _hey wait a minute._

He didn’t know he’d grabbed ahold of Grimmjow’s wrist until the man was trying to shake him off.

“What t’hell are you doing Kurosaki—”

 **I always knew you were handsy, King** _._ He could see White flash his usual predator grin, much to his dismay.

_Will you shut up, I’m in the middle of a crisis._

**You’re always in the middle of a crisis.**

“Look down.” Ichigo’s voice was strained, trying to ignore his other half giggling like a sadistic schoolgirl with a big-ass machete strapped to his back. Instead, he focused his attention down at the flat, slimy head glaring directly at him from near the rock’s underside, and swallowed. He’d never seen one in person, and he wished that was still true. He wasn’t a big fan of snakes, but at least they didn’t have legs. This thing on the other hand, appeared to have four, plus a tail, all covered in mottled skin, dark brown bleeding into black spots. _This,_ was where the smell was emanating from.

He could tell the instant Grimmjow looked down because his breathing stopped, as well as his furious shaking of Ichigo’s wrist, trying to unlatched his vice grip.

“What the fu—”

“Giant salamander,” Ichigo said, cutting him off, not taking his eyes off its wet, slithering body for a moment. Did he sound panicked? He felt panicked. Is this what panicking felt like, because he didn’t feel very good. Weren’t these things supposed to be nocturnal? Why was it getting pissy now? Only the spiritually aware were even supposed to _see_ them, was this salamander spiritually aware? And of everything that it could’ve been, why did it have to be a slimy thing? He didn’t consider himself averse to outdoor activities, but this certainly wasn’t in his circle of interests.

**Oh don’t be such a baby, King. It’s only a little salamander. What harm could it do?**

_It’s harming my feelings right now. And can you see it? It’s gotta be four feet long._

“I don’t like it.” Grimmjow said after a beat of silence. At least Grimmjow shared his sentiments about the creature, unlike _somebody._

“It’s just like that damned crow.” Ichigo looked at him, confused as hell, remembering that he insisted the crow wasn’t actually a crow. What else could it have been, then? It certainly wasn’t a chicken, and the thing below them was no river otter. Grimmjow glared at him, a small snarl on his face.

“It’s _wrong,”_ he said, emphasizing the word ‘wrong’ as if it would point Ichigo in a better direction. How the hell did he know if it was wrong if it was his first time seeing one? Did he study the damn things in his spare time? Pluck birds out of the sky and look at pictures of slimy snake wannabe’s, that _definitely_ didn’t fit into his picture of Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, ex-espada and favorite sparring partner.

“How rude of you to say,” a raspy, watery voice said from below, echoing around the air like a faint gunshot. Ichigo and Grimmjow looked at each other slowly, eyes wide and locking, before looking back down, Ichigo’s hand still clamped firmly down on Grimmjows right arm.

Under them the salamander had shifted. Much bigger than before, at least child sized, brown skin turned light greenish, still kind of sickly looking, and even slimy-er if that was possible. It was floating on its back, staring up at the pair, arms crossed behind its head, beak-like mouth set in a frown.

**Well that’s neat.**

_Shut up shut up shut up._

“Kurosaki,” Grimmjow said beside him, his hand now clamping down on Ichigo’s arm in much the same fashion. It would’ve been nice, if it didn’t feel like he was going to break his wrist with how hard the maniac was holding on. But then again, a salamander just spoke to them, so he could give a little.

“Kurosaki, did Kiskue feed us drugs before we left?”

Ichigo didn’t mean to laugh, he really didn’t. But it was a _little_ relieving to hear Grimmjow’s voice slightly panicked too, right along with his own. Monsters and hollows of Hueco Mundo were one thing, but in the human world, where things were supposed to be _easy_ and _soft_ , it was another story.

“Kiskue?” the creature, obviously a kappa, said below them, turning to look at Grimmjow better, its beady eyes narrowing. Ichigo noticed it’s face, as well as everywhere else on its visible body, was covered in flabby, slick, wrinkles.

“Urahara Kiskue?” Its voice sounded like it had drowned and been revived, but Ichigo figured that was maybe normal.

He nodded dumbly, watching as the kappa looked once at him, then turned gaze back to the arrancar, nearly _leering_ at him, up and down the length of his sitting body. If Ichigo was a little jealous, he’d never tell. 

“What are you supposed to be exactly, Mr. Blue?” the Kappa asked, as it finished it’s ocular scanning of the man, who, by the way, looked hella uncomfortable being scrutinized by a flabby little green creature.

“An arrancar,” Grimmjow bit out, eyes never leaving the kappa’s face. Ichigo felt his hand tighten on his wrist, and he was sure he _would_ break it, soul form or not. 

“Huh, never heard of one of those before. You a new spirit?” Ichigo wasn’t sure he liked the creatures voice the more it kept talking, something about it made him deeply unsettled, like if he looked away, he’d be pulled under the shallow river, soul swallowed up in that monstrous beak. 

“He’s not a spirit. At least, not one like you,” he said, after Grimmjow opened and shut his mouth a couple of times, not quite knowing what to say. The kappa turned all of its…his?...attention back on him, as Ichigo tried not to shudder under the gaze.

“What do you mean, human?” Sweat had built up on Ichigo’s brow, and was threating to fall down his face, even though the air was more crisp than crispy.

“He’s from…somewhere else.” Grimmjow’s grip loosened when he said that, but not in a way that indicated he was going to inflict bodily harm on his face, so that had to count for something. 

Ichigo didn’t exactly know how much to tell the creature, either. Was this a spirit form of someone? He’d had a dream once that Grimmjow was a hulking blue oni. What if it was true? What if there was a spirit version of Aizen? That wouldn’t bode well. Hopefully he’d be a sentient umbrella or something completely non-threatening.

**Your trauma comes up in really weird ways, King.**

_I can’t express how much I need you to shut up, White._

“Oh, so he’s an alien then,” the kappa said, breaking Ichigo from his increasingly strange thoughts. Maybe the earlier smell had did something to him. “That explains the,” the kappa gestured to all of Grimmjow, helpfully.

“Sure.”

“You going back to Kiskue anytime soon, human?” the kappa asked, floating on his back into the middle of the river and turning towards Ichigo. He could make out the turtle shell beneath him finally, rough and spiked, connected to his back. The black hair circling his head in a single line was wet, dripping into the creature’s eyes. It frowned and tried to swat it back up with webbed, clawed fingers. 

“Ah, yeah.” _So I can take a hit of his memory thing right after I ask how he knows a damn water sprite._ He was still holding onto Grimmjow’s forearm, and started to slip his grip away, feeling a little better about the situation, but not really. Grimmjow, in return, tightened his grip right back.

“Good, give him this for me, will you?” the kappa threw a small package which Ichigo caught with the hand that wasn’t still clamped down on the arrancar. It was slimy.

Turning it over in his hand, it was something in a small draw-string pouch, and heavy. The kanji ‘earth’ stamped onto what Ichigo assumed was the front of the little package. Was it a rock? Was a legendary, mythological creature giving him a _rock_ to give Urahara?

**The only thing with a rock in it, is your head,** white supplied, Cheshire grin breaking out across his face. Ichigo rubbed his face into his elbow. He was getting awfully chatty lately, normally Ichigo had to goad a conversation out of him. 

“So what brings you boys out here?” the kappa asked, lazing in the river, still on its back and spinning around slowly.

“Come again?” So they were going to talk about mundane stuff with a water spirit? Then again, there was nothing mundane about his present company, Grimmjow’s hand still warm on his aching wrist.

“Oh, come now boy, I can’t be that much of a shock. You’re holding hands with an alien after all.” Glancing over at Grimmjow and realizing that was at least _half_ true, Ichigo tried to untangle their arms. This time, Grimmjow let him. 

“We’re uh—”

“Sightseeing?” the kappa supplied unhelpfully, turning around once in the water, spinning on its shell counterclockwise. Just watching it was making Ichigo kind of sleepy.

“Sure,” Grimmjow said.

“How sweet,” came the syrupy reply.

Then silence as the kappa mulled something over, spinning himself around in the water with a single foot, this time in the other direction.

Stealing a glance at his blue-haired companion, Grimmjow appeared more fascinated by the creature than freaked out. Ichigo couldn’t blame him, he’d never seen a kappa either. To be honest, he didn’t even think they were real, but then again, he was sitting on a rock alongside a man with a jawbone quite literally attached to his face and a hole through his guts, so maybe he wasn’t one to ask.

He watched as Grimmjow’s jaw tightened, a reflex Ichigo wasn’t even sure he was _aware_ of, let alone how much sharper it made his jawline seem. Save from the scars he knew were on his chest, his complexion was pale and flawless. Jawbone ivory and glinting in the dying light, sun setting low, hiding itself among the trees. The lessening light really added another layer of… _something_ on is already unnaturally attractive face. Maybe it was the whole _golden hour_ thing his sisters had talked about, making his skin seem warm and _alive._

“Sun’s goin’ down, boys,” the kappa said, stopping his spinning and standing. Its gaze was directly on Ichigo, like it knew exactly where his thoughts had been the past few moments, starring at his blue-haired companion.

He was a little shorter than Jinta. So much for a salamander. _At least the smell is gone._ Ichigo watched as the creature scooped up a little bit of water in a small curved, metal bowl, splashing it over his head, and stayed, contained in a dip in its skull. It turned the dish over, sitting it on his head a second later, like a little silver hat and pressed down, sinking it into its skin a bit.

“Better get moving. Things like to come out to play in the dark.” The kappa smiled mischievously, making Ichigo think that maybe it liked to play a little bit too. He’d heard the folk legends about them kidnapping people and drowning horses and such. Didn’t give it much thought…until now. “Don’t forget to give that to Kiskue for me. I can’t get to the shop like I used to,” the kappa said, rubbing his back like it hurt, as if were an explanation.

“Now, let’s see a kiss and be on your way.”

Ichigo’s brain short circuited.

_A what?_

Zangetsu was laughing in the back of his skull like a little kid in a candy store, having stolen all the good chocolates himself without getting caught. He was going to find the worst banjo playing he could and play that on a loop for hours, the bastard. 

“A kiss. Do you need me to show you how it’s done?” the kappa supplied, taking a decisive step forward. Ichigo realized he must’ve said his thoughts out loud and began stuttering like a fool. Beside him, Grimmjow had yet to say a single thing, eyes narrowed on the creature, not moving a muscle otherwise. 

“Whaaa no we’re not…together…like that…” Ichigo’s voice was a littler higher than it normally was, and he was hella sure his face was scarlet.

“Is that so? Well, do it anyway. I like to watch.” The kappa flashed a row of wickedly sharp teeth, as if Ichigo needed more reason to understand this was a being unlike any other he’d encountered in the human world. It was almost as frightening as seeing a hollow for the first time. That and it was a pervert, apparently. He shouldn’t really be surprised, if it knew Urahara.

_No wonder he gets along with him so well._

“And none of this on the cheek shit either. It’s either lips, or I’ll eat you both.”

Ichigo died inside. His body was rotting back at the shop. He soul was withering away.

**That’s just your excitement talking, King.**

_This isn’t excitement you dumbass._

**Oh it definitely is, you just don’t realize it yet.**

So far, Grimmjow hadn’t said anything, and Ichigo was dreading to look into his face, especially since he’d probably only see disgust. Stealing a glance, he looked bewildered, but not belligerently so, by the proposition.

He opened his mouth to what Ichigo was half hoping was cursing the creature out, but the other half of him was just a little wishful at the prospect. Not that Ichigo had ever thought about kissing the arrancar beside him. No, that would be silly, wouldn’t it? Even though his lips looked pretty soft…

“Why?” Grimmjow asked, no hint of malice in his voice so far.

_A zoo. I should’ve taken him to the zoo instead._

**But then you’d never get kis—**

Ichigo shoved Zangetsu back in the farthest recesses of his mind, hoping he’d stay there for a little while, picking apart some other part of his latent repression like the worst brain surgeon in the world.

“Gotta get my kicks somewhere, Mr. Alien. Now go on, give sunshine a kiss for me. He looks like he needs it.” Ichigo balked the nickname, but at least it didn’t have anything to do with fruit. Then again, the kappa didn’t know his name, otherwise, he had a feeling it would’ve been strawberry until summer.

Turning to Grimmjow, he would obviously fight against the kappa’s wishes. Why would he kiss Ichigo, that didn’t make sense, did it? They were both fast enough they could outrun the creature, flash stepping over the forest until they were back at the shoten; it would take probably ten minutes at most.

Ichigo opened his mouth to say so, but instead, his lips were covered with the arrancar’s, as he fisted his hand in the black fabric of his shihaksho, pulling him forward until their lips crashed together clumsily. Grimmjow was rough against him, and his mask knocked against his cheek, but it set ichigo’s veins on fire nonetheless. As quickly as it happened, he was gone. Blinking at Ichigo like nothing had happened, before standing and dusting off his pants, adjusting Pantera on his hip.

The kappa whistled.

“I guess that counts,” it said, unimpressed, body starting to morph back into the slimy salamander they saw before. “Get going then, before I decide to eat your livers anyway.”

They didn’t have to be told twice. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally called “Tell me Owl about it” because I used an owl first since I saw a picture of one and freaked out, but since it kind of blew into something else I changed it. If the title is really dumb, (it’s supposed to be a play on ‘Come again?’) please let me know. I’m really bad at puns, and if anyone has any ideas, I’d love to hear it.  
> There's also a line in reference from the Emperor's New Groove and The Avengers, can you find it ;))? Also will reference BBS Spirit Society somewhat.
> 
> Between Kingdom Crumb (still ongoing) and now this, I am giving myself little to no free-time. Guess it’s a good thing I wanted to get back into fiction writing! Hope you enjoyed! If anyone is interested in seeing a series of these dweebs meeting different folklore creatures, say something down below—that’s the way I’m leaning currently. I think it would be interesting, and I love learning about folklore even more! As always, comments and kudos are appreciated! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!


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